


Stagnate

by TheCrewLife



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Mileven, mileven angst, mileven fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22795432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrewLife/pseuds/TheCrewLife
Summary: Mike Wheeler is stagnated ever since El moved away.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Stagnate

Stagnate.

Dull, tired, empty. Like there is something missing inside of you, nothing but a black hole sucking in all your feelings; happy, excitement, anger, even sadness. It's all gone; nothing left but the bitter taste on your tongue that spreads to your head, making you think and wonder until you have nothing else to imagine. Because your imagination is black and white, a whole world of magic and wonder shrinking in the matter of seconds; smaller and smaller until it pops like a bubble and you can't see anything. You don't know what will happen next or what will happen in your future but in truth; you don't care. 

Mike Wheeler is stagnated. 

He doesn't know what to do now. It's quiet, something they haven't had in a long time; but right now, he hates it. He feels as if all the paths in front of him had disappeared, making him go back along the track where he came from. Walking back to the same things he's done and been through before, repeating. He's not moving. After all this time fighting, crying, suffering, It lead to him going back on the path where he'd never thought he'd go back on. Because he wants to move forward, leave the past behind. But life keeps throwing him into the same loophole. Instead of different paths where he can choose to take; he has no choice. Because the path is a circle, the same things happening over and over with hope that there will be something more one day. But there never is.

Because El keeps getting taken away from him and he has no choice to stop it.

It's always the same. Things are happy, filled with smiles and laughs that are not fake because they don't have to be. No, they can actually smile. They can actually feel joy, the type of joy where you think nothing can stop the smile spreading across your face. The type of joy that makes you feel alive. Then, things get worse. Not completely terrible, but the process of getting there. Weird things start happening, wether it's a friend that goes missing or magnets falling of fridges, something always goes wrong that leads to bad things. Then things get overwhelming. There is nothing but darkness all around, the feeling of joy completely forgotten, feeling as if you can never go back. There's always an evil lurking, and they're always the ones who have to deal with it. Fight it, lose some people, get hurt, cry; the same routine. 

And even though they feel like they've won each time; they never have. It's like a curse that can never be broken. Mike only wonders how long they'll keep going in circles, to keep fighting this evil that is hurting everyone and everything. It's all over now, they closed the gate again and the monster is dead. At least that's what he wants to believe. He knows it's not over. He knows that everything will turn upside down once again. He's only waiting for when.

Although, he feels as if it's already have flipped upside down, that he's living the pain right now. Because after the battle, he never returned to being happy. How could he be if El was gone again? How many times is he going to get her back and suddenly for her to leave all over again?

After the battle, all that was left was, well, nothing. He felt nothing but empty.

His other half has been dragged away from him right in front of his own two eyes, and he did nothing but stand there. Because he couldn't do anything to stop it, he had no choice in the matter. Sure, he could've ran after the car and scream and cry, praying that it would turn back, but what use would that be? It would've done nothing, so he didn't even try. He also lost his best friend, the one ever since kindergarten. He didn't and wouldn't tell anyone, but Will was his favorite out of the boys. He wished they had time to catch up on all the D&D games he refused and talk and joke about things that regular teenage boys should do. Apologize for the things he's said. But there was no time, not anymore.

As he was hugging his mom he felt nothing. Not sad, not angry; nothing. He couldn't process everything that happened. Everything was gone in a blink of an eye. He saw El crying through the window and he wish he could've ran up and kissed her soft lips over and over and tell her it was okay. But he didn't even know if things were going to be okay himself.

As childish as it might seem, he needed his mother's comfort right now. He knew she couldn't say or do anything to make the situation better since she didn't even know half of the things happening in Hawkins, but to be able to hug someone tightly and feel their warmth was the comfort he needed. He allowed her to talk to him even if her words were silent. Knowing that she wanted to talk to him and wanting to make him feel better gave him some type of warmth he couldn't identify.

And now, he was lying in his bed staring up at the ceiling with a blank expression, hearing his sister's cries from her room.

The feeling of knowing that he couldn't just bike up to El's house and touch her and kiss her was too much to comprehend. It felt like he was the boy sitting in her fort calling her on the supercom every night all over again. Like she was completely gone. He got to spend about half a year with El but that time flew by so fast. It felt like three days instead of months. Those days mean nothing to him now, just a dull memory in the back of his mind that once was happy memories turned into depressing ones. 

He knew she wasn't completely gone, he knew she was alive and safe in the care of Joyce and her little family. But for some reason, the pain was just the same in those 353 days. 

He just feels lost.

\---

El sat there tracing unknown patterns on the mattress she was laying on, not on a bed frame yet but good enough to sleep on for the time being. 

She didn't allow herself to cry. Crying made her feel weak, worthless, and small. Hopper would want her to stay strong, to move on from the past and to continue living her life, and to move on from what was hurting her. She knew she couldn't return back to normal, not anytime soon, maybe not ever. But she could try, she could try to be strong for Hopper, she could try to adjust to this new life. Because if she didn't try, she wouldn't be here right now.

She's been in her new bedroom now for hours now. She could overhear Joyce comforting a crying Will from the other room, but she had no interest in checking on them. She helped to move boxes in and other various items but other than that, she spoke little to no words to the people she was supposed to call her family now. Will and Jonathan tried to talk to her but she seemed to put a wall between them and herself. She wasn't ready yet. She wasn't ready or comfortable to call these people her family yet. She loves Joyce, Will, and even Jonathan, but she doesn't know them well enough to feel right living with them, knowing that Joyce is her mom and the others are her brothers. The people and this house, it didn't feel like home.

Home. This isn't home.

El learned that home didn't always need to be a place. She knew this was now technically where she lived, but not home. Home is where the heart is. And her heart belongs to Mike. Mike is home. 

She already missed watching soaps with Hopper on the couch late at night, getting fat on chips and leftover candy from Halloween night. She missed kissing Mike senseless in her room, exchanging love by the touch of their lips and his warm smile. She missed eating dinner at that tiny table across from Hopper, mostly silent but the silent was comfortable and warm. She missed holding Mike's hand as they lay across her bed, talking about everything they could and Mike teaching her all the wonders of the world.

Home is where Mike is, where they can be happy together. Where they can kiss and hold hands, cuddle under the moonlight, hear Mike's enthusiastic tone as he explains stars and science, listen to him sing badly just to make her giggle. Dream of the days where she would be able to go out and Mike promised to take her out on icecream dates and study the constellations in the stars, or go to the movies and walk around town together happily. To laugh and sneak around when Hopper was home, kissing each other like no tomorrow no matter what he said.

Home is where Hopper is, where his hand would ruffle her hair to the point where it got so frizzy she couldn't see, or to watch the television for so long they'd fall asleep on each other's shoulders. To eat Eggos together and smile whenever he made such a bad joke it was funny. For Hopper to teach her new words and sentences so she could speak just as normally as Mike.

Home is where she feels happy. Where she can be together with Mike, laugh around with all her friends, learn new things with Hopper, have pillow fights with Max, and experience the life she never got to live before.

So, this wasn't home. Not even close to it. Joyce wasn't her mom and Will and Jonathan wasn't her siblings; at least not yet. She cannot accept the truth yet, that this is her new life. She doesn't want this to be her new life, she wants to go back to how things were back in Hawkins, where she'd live in that tiny cabin that felt so comfortable and to kiss Mike every day and for Hopper to be her dad. 

Mike was the only thing she had left. Her cabin and her dad are gone and not long after that, she left Mike behind too. Mike had her heart, he stole it from her and she has no complaints. It belongs to him and only him. He was her oxygen, her reason to breathe and live. He was her everything, every star in the sky and every speck of sand was not enough to describe just how much Mike meant to her. Every kiss and every touch they shared was a different type of magic that she couldn't identify as anything else but love. 

No matter how many times Hopper said she didn't know what love was yet or how much Max wanted them apart, she knew he is her one and only, forever. 

All she needed was comfort from Mike. She didn't want Joyce or Will or Jonathan, she didn't want this new place and house. She wanted him. She wanted to curl up in his arms and let it all out, let her tears that she is forcing to keep inside her out, for Mike to hold her so tight but so gentle like he always did and always does. She needed him. Everything is gone but him. She didn't want to leave him like that. She saw his broken face as they rode away from everything they left behind, and she wished she could've stayed with him. Because she knows he loves her. And she loves him too. He's hurting, just like she is, and that thought breaks her. 

Dustin explained to her what "star crossed lovers" were, explaining that it was like him and Suzie. She never thought of that to be a phrase to describe her and Mike, but now, it seemed like they were star crossed lovers. Like the universe is trying to pull them apart and no matter what they do the world decides for them and they have no choice. But they were connected. Like the red string in Greek mythology, they were attached to each other, she knows they are. They have a love no one else shares and they can wait as long as it takes for each other. They can fight a million battles and go through so many hardships so they can be together. They'll do anything it takes because they love one another.

They waited 353 days for each other and she can wait a thousand more if that's what it takes.

As she lies on her mattress, she holds her pillows tightly in her arms, pretending that it was Mike. That he was here with her. But the pillow was cold and lacking the special feel that happened in her stomach whenever Mike was near. She rubbed her cheek against the pillow, trying to tell herself that everything will be okay. But she couldn't.

She is strong but so weak. No one understands that but Mike and Hopper. She can fight off big monsters and save everyone from death but at the same time her heart is like a pancake. She is broken very easily and almost fragile. Not physically, but mentally. As much as she doesn't want to admit it, she needs other people's comfort. 

But she wasn't open to Joyce's or Will's comfort yet, as much as they wanted to help her they weren't her home or family and she wouldn't allow them to. 

She knew she could see him on holidays and could still talk to him, but at what worth? She doesn't want their relationship to fall apart and it seems like it's already crumbling down on her. He means the world to her and she can't let that go. Without him, she'd be dead, wether it be murder or from herself. Mike is the reason why she has her name, Mike is the reason why she has friends, Mike is the reason she got to become normal, Mike is the person that gave her her first home. 

What she had planned for her and Mike was a life full of romantic dates and smiles, of laughs and kisses, to grow up with him and be with him forever.

Hopper doesn't feel completely gone to her. She almost knows he's out there, waiting for her. Mike said she will get her powers back and once she does, she'll see where Hopper is. 

She feels hopeless. Like she has nothing to live for. 

But she lives for Mike and Hopper. 

She'll learn to live for herself in time.


End file.
